You may be asking why I decided to blog? I always ask this question when people start blogs...like wow that person must think he's so cool that he thinks people are going to take time out of their busy lives to read a whole bunch of random thoughts and for me I have had a bad attitude about it. The reason I started this blog is that I don't care who reads it...I feel like I have a lot to share with people and I do share with people that I love and care for each day. I'm putting it in writing for me so that I have a record of my thoughts, feelings, or RANTZ! =) If even one person gets something out of it...good or bad...then that's just a bonus. Oh and I will "simulcast" my blog postings on the Facebook "Notes" section for those of you who don't like navigating to other sites to read stuff. I'll share more about this kind of stuff in future posts...
So here I go...
You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to you
Chorus
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face
But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures
Chorus x2
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut
And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down
I got to the office this morning...for those of you who don't know...I am a financial advisor in Gloucester focusing on Investment Management and Financial Planning with a heart and desire to help clients do charitable planning...so yes, I got to the office this morning and the first thing I did was to turn on www.pandora.com(again, for those who don't know...it's the best site for music). I've been listening to the Jars of Clay channel because my roommate and one of my best friends, Brian Buell was telling me how he's been listening to Christian music lately.
The first song that came on was The Valley Song by Jars of Clay. Here are the lyrics to that song...
Valley Song
You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to you
Chorus
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face
But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures
Chorus x2
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut
And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down
What an amazing song. Jars of Clay has a special place in my music heart as it was one of the first bands I liked when I was learning about music as a kid in middle school. My parents were very protective and didn't want me listening to "non-christian" music and one day my mom went to BJ's(a store here in Danvers, MA that's like Costco) and they were handing out demo EPs of Jars of Clay. Even though their new stuff isn't as good as their first few albums, they will always be a band that I love.
Back to the song...it really hit me this morning on my drive to work like a ton of bricks that I'm in a valley. I haven't communicated...even attempted to communicate with God in over 2 months. The funny thing is that before this hiatus, I was closer to God than I had ever been(in my humble opinion of course). Listening to this song reaffirmed me that God is still there for me waiting...always there...forever there even when I choose to leave him for awhile. Yes, I say "choose" because life is full of choices. We make choices every day...many times each day. We choose to get out of bed, we choose to go to work, we choose to go to the gym, we choose to hang out with friends, we choose to watch the Red Sox kill the Yankees, and yes...we even choose to screw up...we choose...we choose...but this choice has to be made to be with things in terms of our relationship with God as well. We need to choose to communicate with God through prayer, reading the Bible, fellowshipping with other Christians, loving those who need love, listening to people in pain, giving to those who need, sharing God's love to those who don't know or have forgotten about His love.
I should have really titled this post as "Choose"...for a minute there I went back to proof read this and had a bad feeling that I spelled the word "choose" wrong. You know how sometimes you look at a word over and over again thinking you may have misspelled it but it really is the correct spelling but it looks wrong?? I just had that experience with the word "choose". It really is a weird word...
So I choose today to go back to God. I will choose to read my bible tonight before I go to bed...I will choose to pray and tell God everything that I've been thinking about even though he knows it all already. People always say...why pray to God when he knows all your thoughts anyways?? Something that makes sense to me is this...why do you say I love you to a loved one even when you know that they know that you love them already? You say it anyways even though they know. Maybe not the best comparison but it works for me.
A friend prayed for me today as I sat in my car in a parking spot outside of my office. The prayer was wringing through all the speakers in my car(thank you BLUETOOTH!!) and just enveloped me. It felt like a nice shower from one of those hotel shower heads that are like the size of a frizbee that just puts out so much water...just something that went from head to toe and just felt so refreshing. So thank you for that! Go and pray for or with a friend today or a family member, or a loved one or a random stranger. Like actually pray out loud for/with them...if you can't, then pray quietly inside to yourself...it all works and it's all good...like pizza...cold or hot...it's all good.
I hope you all choose God today in some way, shape or form.
peace...jp